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Bear: “Hey Mama, Terran is making a giant bomb that is full of squids. So when it explodes, SQUIDS EVERYWHERE!”
Me: “The plural is squid, sweetheart.”
Bear: “Oh.”
He walks away. Ten minutes later…
Verdi: “Hey Mama, Bear and Terran are plotting to blow me up because I don’t hate squids as much as they do. They’re building a bomb.”
Me: “It’s squid.”
Verdi: “Yeah, I said squid.”
Me: “No, the plural form of that word is the same as the singular. They are plotting to blow you up because you love squid.”
Verdi: “Oh. I see. Actually I don’t love squid, I just don’t hate it, and this offends them so much they are making a bomb.”
Me: “Let me know if they appear to be achieving some actual explosiveness.”
Verdi: “Okay.” He walks away.
Me (whispering to myself): “Because that would be awesome on the homeschool report forms.”

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