Oh, what can I say about today? Today…
Verdi was kind (not cold) and with-it (not spacey) and generally reminded me that he is doing so much better than he started out, that he is growing into a really great person who I like. I mean I’ve always liked him, but hanging out with him has periodically been hard and sometimes like not hanging out with anyone at all. He laughed a lot today and that was so nice to hear. He’s been reading a science encyclopedia all day. He also learned to use an ATM today.
Bear programmed a game in Scratch that he said is “a sort of Dungeons & Dragons only set in the Harry Potter universe and the game mechanics are like Zelda”. We watched tons of deleted scenes from the movies while curled up in bed together. The scenes at the end where Dudley and Petunia make peace with Harry always make me choke up. He also figured out how to use some chat apps he hadn’t previously been able to make work, spending time with his best bud over the interwebz. Bear read a wordless graphic novel about fairy dogs today.
Terran enthusiastically bounded down to Food Not Bombs to help cook a freegan vegan community meal under anarchist tutelage. He has learned most of his kitchen skills there. After he came home, in an effort to put off bedtime, he engaged myself and Robin, my boyfriend, in a detailed discussion of Oz that touched on what constitutes canon and what a spoiler is. We love Oz here. I’ve been reading Oz books to the boys for ever and I think we can probably go on reading them for the next 11 years til I have no boys at home, because there are 80 billion of them. Terran read some of Ozma of Oz on his own tonight.
I’m sure more happened, but I am just not able to remember it. Right in the middle of the day I met with a lawyer. He didn’t want to take my case because I wouldn’t sue for money. I didn’t want him to take my case because he wrote off my fluffy activisty ideas about getting someone to stop doing an immoral thing being the goal of a lawsuit. (Money is the goal of a lawsuit, silly girl; lawsuits never solve problems!) He had good news for me, if learning how easily one could win a slander/harrassment case is ever good news. It felt good just to know that I’m not crazy, that this is recognized by the law as unethical behavior, and that I have some recourse. What I will do with that, I don’t know. But there it is and knowing it gives me a good deal of peace.
There’s a big fat EMPTY SQUARE on the calendar for tomorrow. We all kind of squee’d a little when we saw that. I plan to get a good night’s sleep, serve a hearty breakfast, and dive in to just being ourselves at home, our most important work.
Well. I donno. I think probably arresting corporate criminals would be more important at this stage in history if we could pull that off, but I agreed with Tolkien when he said, via Gandalf, “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay.” It’s the other side of, “be the change you wish to see in the world,” which has pretty much been my number one guiding principle all of my adult life. Live out your values, that’s what matters. Maybe the environmentalists have stressed this to the detriment of our movement; surely we need to arrest those creeps who are making earth inhabitable for human life, force them to obey the laws that are already perfectly good. But at least in the problems, the dramas, that get thrown at me on a smaller scale, the little, understandable, weedly, needle-y evils, the graynesses lurking in our neighborhoods, I find that sitting at home cheering on the projects my boys dream up, making french toast with my lover, playing footsie with my cat, walking the dog down to the park and picking up more Oz books at the library on the way home, those are the things to do to combat such. Nothing can really darken the sunshiney skies of my soul when I’m paying attention to those small things and being fully present in their small moments of time. Fact is, I love my life. All I need to do to feel that joy is remember to occupy my days.
So. To that end, a good night’s sleep. See y’all tomorrow night.